Story of the Broke and Unemployed

 There are more and more voices complaining about their jobs around us.

In recent years, there's been an increasing discussion about finding out one's talent and passion.

For someone with thousands of hobbies, I am still very lost. It becomes especially obvious in the recent month. After I left my job in May, I've been thinking. I tried connecting with myself, asking me what I really want. There are things I really love to do. There were passions forgotten or buried away with time.

There are too many possibilities. Let me put it in a timeline to highlight how absurd it is.

Earlier in February, I interviewed for graduate school. I went there looking and sounding clueless, not having the sleep I needed the night before. When asked what my future plan was, I said I had no idea. I was just trying to put pieces together. When asked if I had any questions, I said no. The interviewer said, "You came all the way here and you have no question for us?" And I went, "meh." Seriously, I never even give any standard answers they listed in those interview tips. What's more absurd was, I got in.

Upon getting my place in graduate school, I discussed the date I'll be leaving my job with my manager. We agreed to set the date in May. She'll have three months to look for a replacement and after that, I'll have the same duration to lock myself up at home and buff up for the upcoming classes and thesis.

After I left my job, things escalated quickly. Right after I became an unemployed human, I was still too optimistic. I thought I could stay alive for three months without a job and somehow manage to produce tuition fees for masters. I did continue writing my novel and looked for a translating job but that'll all need time to produce money.

Then, I thought, 'I need a job.' It'll be weird for me to quit my job just to jump into another. That was why I wanted the new job to be something big. It had to be something so big, I've only ever imagined.

I updated my resume and applied for a cabin crew position. The open day was in five days and I didn't care. Of course, they rejected. I'm asked to apply again in six months.

Alright. That didn't work out so I was back looking for jobs and sending resumes. Things are back to square one.

In order to prevent things going in a vicious cycle, I wish to do something I really like, to the point that I will not be able to leave it. The passion has to burn so strong nothing could prevent me from doing it.

Then, suddenly, I realize that I've put emphasis on the wrong thing. I used to see a saying on social media: You do what you hate to earn money to do what you like.

That's it! The point is I need the cash to do what makes me happy. Why didn't I think of it sooner?

Now, I send in my resume carefully. I want to do a job that I like to earn enough to do more of the things I like.

Fingers crossed, everything will turn out fine.