Reason to lose weight: Are You Comfortable in Your Own Skin?

 

"I don't want another girl's body. I want my body, but leaner, stronger, and healthier."

I had a talk with my coach today.

She looked at the form I filled and asked, "why do you want to lose weight?"

"To be better," I said, "I want to be the better version of me."

As the conversation proceeded, I started to analyse my mindset.

I believe that I have a bold personality. I'm not afraid to try and am willing to dabble in new things. I've always put emphasis on my clothing. I believe that what I wear shows my personality. However, if I don't feel comfortable wearing what I wear, does it still show my personality?

To be honest, yes. I see the timid and overly conscious side of me. Whenever I wear crop tops, skirts, or sleeveless clothes, I'll be stiff all day, trying not to let the belly out, shoulders back, etc. Whenever I look in the mirror, I'll laugh and pinch my fat. "You're fat," I told myself in between laughter. I thought it was a simple banter between me and myself.

"Wear what makes you comfortable. What's the point of wearing clothes that make you feel awkward?" That's something that I've heard for years, just that they were not directed at me. I sat at the side, nodding in approval.

Then, I realized. It's fine to wear loose, oversize clothes, for the right reasons. It's fine to wear them because I like them; I feel comfortable in them; and I think I look gorgeous in them. However, to wear those because I have no choice but to do so, just because I can hide my flaws isn't okay.

That's why I decided to lose weight. I want to look good in the clothes I wear, no matter what they are. I want to feel comfortable in my own skin. I envy those who emit confidence wherever they go. The moment they walk in a room, they have the 'I don't give a shit about what you think. I'm gonna be me and I feel good' aura. Honestly, they have flaws we can pick based on the beauty standard of society. The thing is they don't care. They're confident and they love themselves.

It's all about mindset. I've changed mine, gradually. I love myself and the way I look right now. That, however, will not be the reason stopping me from being better. I don't want to deprive myself of the possibility of improvement because I'm too comfortable and content with my current self.

Here's a before and after picture of me when I first started the program.

I'm thinner now and I believe I'll continue to look even better! I'll leave this picture here as a reminder of my effort to start transforming.

Who do you want to be?

Close your eyes and imagine your ideal self.

You can reach your goals only when you dare to dream.

Those were the words she said along the way.

I closed my eyes and smiled.

I don't see anything because I don't have an ideal self. I am already my ideal self.

But I'll continue to strive because I know I can be better.